Have you ever heard of theWhere-To-Be-Born Index?It’sa metric measuring the quality of life in different locationsbased on subjective citizen surveys combined with objective environmental, social, governmental, and economic factors. In short, the core question is,“Does this place suck or nah?”
Related:Minecraft: Best Quality-Of-Life Mods
I’ll disclose that I am no economist, socioeconomic researcher, or other subject matter expert. But Iama gamer with hot takes. So, if you’ve ever wondered what living in these four vastly different gaming locales is like, I’ll happily give you my judgments.
415th Century Florence, Italy - Assasin’s Creed 2
Assasin’s Creed 2began a trilogy of video games dedicated toEzio Auditore da Firenze, a Florentine assassin living in the Early Renaissance. In this case, I suppose this location should get judged according to awhen-to-be-born index rather thanwhere.
For instance, you would thrive inRenaissance-era Florenceif you love arts, culture, and sensual pleasures. For example, Europe had overcome the destabilizing period of the Black Death, thus resulting in aburgeoning middle class, a rise in individualism, and a greater focus on examining the humanities.
This all sounds great…ifyou are wealthy enough. But unfortunately,the Republic of Florence was essentially an oligarchy, with power consolidated among wealthy merchant families like the Medicis. So, it’s like living in America now, but with less technological advancement and shorter life spans. Wah-wah.
6.5/10
3Paldea - Pokemon: Scarlet And Violet
If you look at a map ofPaldea, you’ll notice it is an island with highly diverse terrain. According to the officialPokemonwebsite, Paldea is"a land of vast open spaces dotted with lakes, towering peaks, wastelands, and perilous mountain ranges.“In short, there’s something here for everyone.
Still don’t believe me? I skimmed a Reddit thread of gamers discussing where they would live in Paldea. One response cited Levincia due to its similarities to Valencia, Spain. Another Redditor chose Montenerva due to its “constant Halloween vibe.” And, to my surprise, one comment insisted they would rather camp out wherever and explore Area Zero.
Related:Pokemon Scarlet & Violet: FAQ Guide
You could be acity person, a spooky goth, a snow bunny, or a Poke-vagabondand still find the perfect living arrangement in Paldea. And no matter where you live,the Pokemon will crystallize because, who knows?
Making a living in Paldea sounds like a mixed bag. Sure, there are several employment opportunities in the metropolitan city businesses. But many Paldeans contribute to acrowded market of freelance Pokemon trainers. As a freelancer myself, that sounds rough.
Then, there’s the questionable practice of making the Paldean wildlife, aka Pokemon, fight each other. That sounds like justified animal cruelty. So, I guesshumansborn in Paldea can access good opportunities. However, Pokemon born in Paldea cannot. (Unless you’re a Swarovskicrystal Pokemon. In that case, your life ismade.)
7/10
2Outworld - Mortal Kombat
If you immediately thought, “Oof, this can’t be good,” when I mentionedOutworld, I understand why. There are several reasons why growing up in this tumultuous realm is a disparaging experience.War-torn clans, despotic rulers, barren wastelands, Outworld has all these disparities and more.
However, despite the horrible living conditions, each native species has perks. For instance,humanoid Outworlders can wield magicand tout longer life expectancy from birth.Shokans have two extra arms(and extraordinary leg strength in Sheeva’s case). And theCentaurians are swole horsepeople! Superhuman abilities must improve QoL somehow.
Unfortunately, if you belong to aconqueredspecies, Outworld life is more challenging. For instance,the Saurians, a reptilian race, are enslaved. Meanwhile, the insectoidKytinn had no defense againstShao Kahn’sinvasion. And if you were born an Osh-Tekk, you’re either dead or Kotal Kahn (and being Kotal Kahn is lonely, dude).
In sum, Outworld has asignificant racism problem. So, unless you’re one of the few races that benefit from systemic racism, you don’t want to get born here.
Kons (See what I did there?)
4/10
1The Cosmos - Katamari Damacy
Congratulations! If you were born intoThe Cosmos, you live in aprogressive monarchy where every day is sunshine and roses. you may travel wherever you wish, be it one of our Solar System’s original planets or the makeshift Sumo Planet you made yesterday. You’re a demigod, and the universe is your Play-Doh.
Oh, if only it were that simple.Unfortunately, the King Of All Cosmos, aka GOD, is a bumbling idiot. And if you’re one of his family members (spoiler alert: you likely are), you’ll be responsible for cleaning all his messes.
You wouldn’t mind occasionally helping dear old Dad (or Uncle King Of All Cosmos if you’re not The Prince). However, this kind of catastrophe happens every other day. We can picture it now:
“Why HELLLLLOOOOO, my sweet prince. Your mother and I were playing planetary golf when I accidentally shot Pluto into the Sun. We know it’s technicallynota planet. Still, it’s a planet in our hearts. And every heart deserves love. Does it not, sweet prince? Now fetch me a Katamari composed of Disney memorabilia so we can make the most Pluto-like Pluto you’ve ever seen!”
If you think you can handle family without boundaries, maybe The Cosmos is the place for you. As for me, I have already booked my ticket to Outworld. Peace!
