If you need a diversion fromThe Witcher 3’sdark themes and need some levity, look no further than the quest Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Granite in Toussaint. It’s from the Blood and Wine expansion and is meant to be tackled late in Geralt’s adventure.

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A screenshot of The Witcher 3’s map with an orange circle over a quest location.

The tale focuses on one of Beauclair’s most beloved statues, a larger-than-life rendition of Reginald d’Aubry. According to Toussaint legend, the man had not only designed Beauclair’s streets, but he had even designed escape routes for philanderers from the beginning. As such, giving his jewels a gentle caress is said to bestow enhanced stamina to the worshipper.

How To Start Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls Of Granite

There are two ways to get up close to the gilded statue. The first would be tofind request for a “discreet specialist” at The Gran’palace Notice Boardin Beauclair. Alternatively, you couldvisit the location directly,where you will find the statue’s curator sharing the hard news of the museum’s temporary closure.

The curator is light on details but willask Geralt for helpshortly after they meet, realizing that the famed White Wolf would be the best man to resolve the situation.

A screenshot of Geralt approaching a curator on a Toussaint street who is apologizing for closing his museum.

If you agree, he will bring Geralt into the museum, where you’re able to see that the statue has been gelded, with the famed gonads cleanly removed. It’s time to get to work andfind clues as to the culprit’s location.

Geralt cancomment on the statue’s conditionby investigating it.

Dried Blood

There is asmall drop of dried bloodat the foot of the statue.

Diamond Saw

The tool that did the deed has beendiscarded by a potted plantin thenorth corner of the museum.

Torn Cloth

A piece of fabric, tornfrom the culprit’s clotheshas been caught on atrellis north of the statue.Geralt will be able totrack the culprit from the scent.

The trail will bring Geralt to a house in Beauclair.Focusing Geralt’s Witcher Senseswill allow his superhuman hearing to detect the dastardly deeds being inflicted within.

Geralt and an old man exchange glances as they are confronted by a cuckolded man.

Getting The Granite Gonads Back

When you are ready to confront the thief,interact with the doorto have Geralt break the door down and get inside, catching the elderly thief in the act of testing d’Aubry’s jewels.

Before you can try to get them back, the woman’s husband forces his way in and immediately draws the kind of conclusion one would expect. Furious, he will try to soothe his wounded ego bytrying to fight Geralt.You can eitherfight him into submissionordominate him with Axii,letting you focus on the old thief.

If you lose, the stones will be gone, reduced to atoms. The husband willdestroy them after knocking you out.

He pleads with Geralt, saying that he had been using the stolen jewels asperformance-enhancers,and offers money to keep them. The quest goes intwo directions here.

Take d’Aubry’s Parts Back

Geralt will refuse, taking the stolen parts andreturning them to the curatorwhoreturns the statue to its former glory.

The curator willgive Geralt a Reginald Statueand allow the witcher tocop a feel for free.Each caress willtemporarily boost Geralt’s stamina.

Allow The Old Man To Keep Them

If you take pity on the old man, he will give Geralt50 crownsand promises toreturn the parts the following week.Unfortunately, it appears that the stones kept him up for more than four hours. You find thathe died, with his lover sobbing outside.

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