How To Pretend You Actually Played All The Big Games This Year

There are too many good video games right now. That’s not a bad thing. It’s actually great that our industry has become so strong that company after company is dropping some of the best work they’ve ever made.Zelda.Baldur’s Gate.Final Fantasy.Starfield. Okay, maybe not Final Fantasy on this recent one, but you get my point. It’s a crazy year.

And, let’s be honest, you’re probably not going to play all of the games. Even if you buy them all, at least a third will sit in yourSteamlibrary for months or years before you boot it for an hour and decide wading through a tutorial ain’t worth it. There’s just too much to play and too little time to play it. Some of the biggest titles of the year are epic roleplaying games that encourage players to spend hours going beyond the story and just living life in a beautiful world.

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It’s horrible.

But the only thing worse is not being able to talk about those games with friends and online strangers who hate you. With that in mind, here are useful ways to pretend you actually played all the big games this year. I know not everyone is great at lying but, considering lying is where I put the majority of my skill points in real life, I’m happy to help.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Let’s start with an easy one. You’ve definitely seen a lot about all the crazy contraptions people make. Focus on that. That’s what fans want to talk about. Throw in some light seasoning about how the story is surprisingly sad and say “Wow! That dragon thing!” to really hit home that you know what that means in any way. But always bring it back to the Zonai contraptions link can build. In fact, just say “Zonai” and people will believe you. If the conversation dares switch to the main game itself, just say you were blown away by the dungeon in the sky. People will just agree. No follow-up questions.

Diablo 4

Another pretty simple one. Even if you haven’t played aDiablogame you get it. The hard part is you’re going to be asked about character builds. But don’t worry. There’s a great out: Just complain that you keep having to make new characters for game seasons and that you’re “experimenting” with getting it right. Throw your hands up and go, “Whenever I get a great combo working, they nerf it!” That’s like a mutual greeting forDiablo 4fans. If you’re really pressed on what class you’re playing, say Barbarian. It’s as easy as saying, “Oh, I like smashing things! Like the Hulk!” You’ll sound dumb, but they’ll believe you.

Street Fighter 6

The important thing to know aboutStreet Fighterfans is that their main focus in life is talking about whether the current Street Fighter is better or worse than other Street Fighter games. Fortunately for you,Street Fighter 6is one of the best in the series! So all you have to do to prove you’ve played SF6 is to crap talkStreet Fighter 5! I know it sounds crazy. It shouldn’t be that way. But you just go, “I’m so glad it doesn’t feel like I’m being nickel and dimed!” Actual fans will be like, “I know, right? How refreshing!” and you may nod your head solemnly and say, “So refreshing.” If someone asks you if you made a character in the game, say you made yourself with dumps like a truck.

Final Fantasy 16

Okay, so this game is a bit controversial. You’re going to get people who loved it and people who absolutely hated it. So first, if someone asks you what you thought ofFinal Fantasy 16, say “Oh, I have thoughts! What about you?” It’s non-committal and you get to know if they liked it. If they liked it, say, “You know, they changed a lot but it really felt like Final Fantasy!” That’s kind of enough for someone who had a good time. If they didn’t like it, say, “It just felt like Devil May Cry with a Final Fantasy skin!” It doesn’t matter. Both are true. In either instance, say your main criticism is that the game could’ve ended earlier but then pivot talking about Cid being hot. If you have to lie about both Final Fantasy 16 and Diablo 4, a great way to move things along is to say how cool it washearing Ralph Inesonin both games.

Baldur’s Gate 3

Honestly, this game is so vast and has so many moving parts that you could probably just make up some fantasy shit that happened to you and people would believe it. “I killed the dwarf dentist in the Underdark after he wouldn’t let me through the Fallen Halls.” I made that up but, hell, that could be something inBaldur’s Gate 3, right? You’d believe it if you saw a guide somewhere on this page that was like, “Baldur’s Gate 3: How To Get Through Shadowheart’s Break Dancing Competition.” If you get asked if you played one of the main characters or made a custom one, just say “Dark Urge.” It’s literally both of those and your character has no backstory to remember other than loving to kill. Easy peasy.

Starfield

Do mostly everything I said about Baldur’s Gate 3, but in space. Since it’s a Bethesda game, you simply must, must, must comment on its stability. If you’re asked how far you got in the game, get a little angry and complain that a major bug made you have to start over. Then add, “But that’s Bethesda for you!” Everyone will know exactly what you’re talking about because it’ll probably happen to them at some point.And rather than telling people what type of character you made, just say you decided to base your character on someone from a sci-fi story. Doesn’t matter who.

Armored Core 6

Just say, “I can’t believe FromSoftware did it again! But, I’ve got absolutely no idea what I’m doing!” Also works for every other FromSoftware game.

Mortal Kombat 1

This is a little difficult because a lot of the gameplay elements inMortal Kombatactually change over the series. Instead, focus on the way the game is rebooting the characters on a different timeline. A couple things here. One is you have to chuckle a little and go, “How many times does this world reboot itself?!” That’ll make fans whisper, “That person is a real fan like me!” Then say, “I’m excited to see the relationship between Sub-Zero and Scorpion!” Catnip for the MK community. Finally, put your hand to your chin and say, “I wonder how Homelander will feel in the game?”