I regret to say this, but I bounced offFallout 4almost immediately. A friend insisted I play it, going so far as to lend me her disc so I wouldn’t have to buy it, and I still never finished it. I tried twice. The first time, the VATS system was incomprehensible to me, and I didn’t realise how tough combat would be without it. I tried, didn’t get very far, and gave up. I was overwhelmed with the number of things to do, and in usual form for me, I was terrified of having to fight zombies, which is kind of the point of Fallout.
After this same friend sat down with me to explain the VATS system, months after I first bounced off, I dove back in, starting a new game. It was easier this time and I got farther, but the game still didn’t draw me in as much as I hoped it would. I did a little of the Brotherhood of Steel storyline, but I felt far too underpowered to venture out into the world without getting killed a thousand times along the way – and I did die, a lot. A lot of my problems with open-world games is that I’m encouraged to explore, but I might not have the capabilities to actually survive in the places I end up. That was a big part of why I bounced offBreath of the Wildas well. If I’m not strong enough to fight the enemies in a certain place, I’d rather not have to find that out the hard way. I only have so many hours in a week, after all, and I hate wasting them dying over and over.
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It’s weird, because I didn’t have that same feeling withSkyrim. That game came out when I was 15, and I couldn’t tell you how many times I played it. I’ve finished it at least twice, because I wanted to see the reaction I’d get playing as races other than human – Dark Elves, or Dunmer, are interesting to me thematically, largely because like them, I’m a racial minority that occasionally gets called slurs. I finished every faction’s storylines, worked my way through side quests, and got as overpowered as possible. I played it for several years, and eventually, I stopped. I’m often tempted to go back. Knowing that it’s on Game Pass is reassuring, butthere are too many games this year that I want to playfor me to realistically squeeze it in. Still, I like the thought of being able to.
I feel more compelled to play Starfield each day we move closer to launch, and I need it to be more like Skyrim and less like Fallout. Skyrim made me feel directed, instead of lost. I always knew what to do and where to go in Skyrim, but Fallout seemed murkier, giving me destinations I had to get to but no clear, safe way to get there. I understand that’s a personal preference thing, and not necessarily a flaw of this very well-loved game, but I’m Starfield lands just right for me. I know myself, and I know that there’s a real chance I’ll get irretrievably lost in space if I’m set loose, especially considering how vast Starfield advertises itself to be. I need Starfield to let me touch the stars, but ground me to Earth (or, you know, wherever humans live now).
I also want to feel the wonder and awe Skyrim inspired, not the fear and dread Fallout gave me. This is likely due to the very different settings – Fallout was post-apocalyptic and Skyrim was fantasy, giving rise to very different emotional reactions in me. I distinctly remember entering a cave in Skyrim that was full of gorgeously rendered colours and feeling my heart clench, astounded that a game could be so beautiful. Fallout 4, unfortunately, didn’t do that for me. Starfield is set in space – it has so much potential to surprise and astound players with unexpected beauty. I’m hoping for more of that.
I would hate to bounce off Starfield the way I did Fallout 4, and I know with every game, there’s a chance of that happening. That’s a personal issue, but one that I, perhaps selfishly, don’t want to deal with when Xbox’s biggest release to date finally gets released. Thankfully, Todd Howard has described Starfield as“Skyrim in space”, though I’m hesitant to put stock in that until I see it for myself. Until then, I have my fingers crossed.
